Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
