My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
