Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
