Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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