So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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