Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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