Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
