I wish i was in the wii world.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
