Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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