Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
