Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
