will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
