WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
