she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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