dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
