I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
