I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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