and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
