Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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