Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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