Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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