You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
