Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize