I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
