Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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