I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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