**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
