well I can't set my house on fire every night
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
