don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
