Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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