shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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