We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
honey bunches of taint.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
