I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
