your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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