you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize