Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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