I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize