is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize