we made out on top of his cat.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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