hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
