dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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