By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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