Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
