i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
