So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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