do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
