i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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