that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
