His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What a dumb baby whore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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