Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How does it feel to date your dad?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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