Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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