i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
