Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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