the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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