ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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