There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
