if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
