It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
its not stalking. its research.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
