Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
