If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
