Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
