You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
