it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
