Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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