so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
