I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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