she was so not down for the gang bang
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
