Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
