There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
