Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize