just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
