get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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