Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
